Astrounaut when 7

Day 41 | 17-06-25

Yesterday I thought I write this concept of kid being alive in you, is one of the parameters of success.

So the idea is, we all have dreams, day dreams, naïve targets, when we were a kid right.
Those who pursue those diligently, for years and find themselves doing exactly what they dream of when they were 11, 14 or 17 years, have that part of psyche still active in their brain. They were kid when they used to perform that activity for fun. Now they are into adulthood, performing the same activity with discipline, responsibility, status and money. A major part of their childhood is alive in their heart. Each heart beat resonates with the child who dreamt of this reality. For me it would be football in eight standard, cinematography in twelfth and dance in my college, each one of those have not been considered seriously for life, this is death before death. That part of you dies, you eventually forget it, it’s gone, past, as if it never happened in the first place, past remains past, reality is different, doors closed and plastered.

My door for dance and cinema are not completely closed yet, but I have convinced myself that these wouldn’t let you escape the middle-class crisis, hence not giving it all. But it’s not all bad, I will continue dancing each weekend and will proudly call myself a dancer as long as my limbs are fine. One of my friends wanted to be an actor, model. She was one of those who consistently find themselves in front of mirror, then snapchat, melodramatic girl, bebo, diva. I feel I have felt her death when she was in high school, prepping for college, leaving THE friends and sobbing all night, and also her death in college. She is different now, than when I found her.

That’s the pessimistic pov.

Optimistically
We are still 21, as young as any grown man could dream of. We will find peace, happiness and hopefully mastery in aspects we haven’t even dreamt of. Life is full of surprises. My biggest surprise gift from college was dance, waiting for many others as I stride towards 25 then 30.

And there are no adults, who are adults? grown-ups? very flawed concept, just to scare the kids.
Always a spectrum.